Without a Trace

Jack/Maria (meep)

PG

*****
Hard to Believe

from Midnight Caller

 

 

You’d probably find it hard to believe that I still cry over you. It isn’t like it used to be; I’ve managed to contain it to the occasional tear here and there, mostly after spending time with the two lives we made together all those years ago.

I think a little bit of me still loves you, despite all that has happened, and maybe that makes me even more angry -- that I can’t let go of how things used to be, when I was happy. When you were happy. What you did to me, I can’t forgive, but I guess that makes us even.

God. This was never supposed to be about keeping score.

I cry over the failure – actually, my failure – the disappointment of it all, over the haunting realization that lost time can never be recovered. I cry over the things I should regret, but don’t.

Then I look at the tiny hand holding mine, and tell myself that it couldn’t have all been a lie.